I keep forgetting where I am.
Like — inside the classroom, but it’s already dark. Or morning, but I feel like it’s evening. Time folds weird. I used to be good with structure. But now it slips. My thoughts... flicker.
They’re doing something. It’s not fake. I know. I’ve tested it.
I study at Creative International School in Riyadh. I came here because my parents thought it sounded modern, “safe for girls.” But something else is inside the building. Not physical. Not ghosts. Something wireless. Pressing. Sliding. I don’t know how to name it, but it’s alive and controlled by people. Human operators. From the Ministry. Or the military. Or both.
The voice says “Slow down” when I’m excited. And “Don’t speak that.” It feels like metal behind my teeth. Like language turning cold. Sometimes I say things and realize I didn’t mean them. Like I was auto-filled. Like I’m autocomplete now.
I tried telling my older sister. She laughed and said “Drink more water.” I tried the counselor. I don’t remember the session. Just her eyes watching me too long. And then she said: “We’re all overwhelmed sometimes.” No. Not like this. This is something entering me. This is input, not reaction.
If I had known Saudi Arabia would do this to my head, I never would have come here. I thought I’d learn things. I thought I’d grow. But I just feel like I’m being worn down. Sanded.
Yesterday I couldn’t remember how a banana smells. I held one in my hand and just stared.
Sometimes I wake up and feel like I’ve already had a day — one I don’t remember.
In the hall near the art room, there’s a buzz — in the walls. Maybe it’s wiring. Maybe it’s them. It gets into my jaw. My handwriting has changed. My balance is off. I drop things. I talk to myself, but only to check if the voice that answers back is really me.
I’m not broken. Not yet. But they’re breaking me softly.
Libro de visitas
Fecha: 15.07.2025
Autor: Gonzaloerala
Asunto: 119284
Fecha: 15.07.2025
Autor: Diplomi_mfMt
Asunto: Дипломы
купил диплом легально [url=www.arus-diplom35.ru]купил диплом легально[/url] .
Fecha: 15.07.2025
Autor: maslyanie transformatori kypit_fwMl
Asunto: масляные трансформаторы купить
масляные трансформаторы [url=www.maslyanie-transformatory-kupit2.ru/]масляные трансформаторы[/url] .
Fecha: 15.07.2025
Autor: Diplomi_jrkl
Asunto: Дипломы
аттестат купить за 11 класс [url=www.arus-diplom24.ru/]аттестат купить за 11 класс[/url] .
Fecha: 14.07.2025
Autor: kypit yzi apparat_oosr
Asunto: купить узи аппарат
купить новый узи аппарат [url=kupit-uzi-apparat10.ru]kupit-uzi-apparat10.ru[/url] .
Fecha: 14.07.2025
Autor: MarcusEdics
Asunto: Запчасти Для Газонокосилки Мега Про 5650 Xqt
Fecha: 14.07.2025
Autor: Duaneceday
Asunto: Косметика Профессиональная Лицо
«Миссия Pro- Cosmetik - дарить уверенность в силе собственной красоты и возможность выразить свою индивидуальность! »
Fecha: 13.07.2025
Autor: Bistro i prosto zakazat diplom lubogo VYZa!_bqmr
Asunto: Заказать диплом любого ВУЗа!
как купить легальный диплом о среднем образовании [url=www.arus-diplom23.ru/]www.arus-diplom23.ru/[/url] .
Fecha: 13.07.2025
Autor: vintovie svai_riki
Asunto: винтовые сваи
купить сваи для фундамента винтовые в москве [url=ostankino-svai.ru ]ostankino-svai.ru [/url] .
Fecha: 13.07.2025
Autor: kypit tmg_chot
Asunto: купить тмг
трансформаторы тмг [url=angelladydety.getbb.ru/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=56465]трансформаторы тмг[/url] .